Gedanate's

Aikido, Martial Arts and Self Defense Pages

 

When a Schoolboy Has To Defend Himself

An urgent case for Self Defense tactics?

My Response to a Boy Who's Being Bullied At School

Punched and Kicked

This is an email I woke up to read first thing one morning.

Hi David,

At school I get bullied by a boy, he keeps punching me in my head and kicking me.

I have had enough, and am going to fight him, but I need to do something that will cause him pain and make sure he doesnt mess with me again.

Can you help?

Jim (not his real name).



My reply:

Dear Jim, Be careful that YOU don't end up in trouble, even if you are defending yourself.

I taught my kids that they should fight back if they were bullied. (My wife had twins, a boy and a girl.) And we both decided Aikido was too complicated for the kids.

So when Jordan was punched in the mouth by one of the boys at school, he did exactly as I had shown him and kicked the boy in the balls. End of fight... BUT

The schoolboy, who was Australian Chinese, told his parents when he got home. I know the Chinese culture, since I lived in Hong Kong for more than 20 years. They are extremely sensitive about damage to their family jewels, after all, maybe their son wouldn't give them any grandchildren? (He had been hurt and shocked, yes, but he wasn't actually injured.)

The parents complained to the Principal, and he lectured Jordan and called me and my wife, the parents in to complain to us.

I told the principal my son had been taught never to pick fights, but he had been instructed to defend himself. And no, we weren't apologetic. The headmaster didn't like that.

In the end, my son Jordan and the Aussie-Chinese lad became excellent friends.

But as for you, young Jim. I cannot see what's been happening with my own eyes, and I won't be there to step in if either of you goes too far in a fight.

The law in Australia and the U.K. is very strict about assault and self defense. Magistrates get very nasty if they think you have used more than MINIMUM FORCE to protect yourself.

Is there a Judo club in the local area where you can join? And if you find one, you must KEEP YOUR TRAINING A SECRET.

Why? Because it takes time to build up skills, and if the bully hears of it, he will beat you up all the more (before you have the skill and the MENTAL PICTURE) to be able to whip him). I know because it happened to me like that as a kid.

Just one thing. When you do fight back, you must hurt the bully quickly and keep on hurting him until he is down and he calls out "Enough!" Don't freak out because now he's going to be angrier than ever. (I did that once, as a kid, and was walloped for it.)

You make sure it's YOU who uses anger, and YOU keep hitting and kicking him, until there's no more fight in the bully.

BUT you must not do any permanent damage. If he is loses an eye, for example, you will go to jail. Teeth knocked out? Broken jaw? Maybe the same, because it makes YOU look like the aggressor. The bully may also try to sue you for damages, medical bills etc.

You have been warned!

Real Life Is Different from the Dojo